


Say It Ain't So

by youren0tahero



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Kid Fic, and take prompts off of social media, once again i cannot come up with ideas for myself, the boys are traumatized bc their parents say they ate their candy, you know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 23:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3547226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youren0tahero/pseuds/youren0tahero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the day after Halloween and some of our favorite little volleyball players are put through some unnecessary trauma as means for entertainment.</p>
<p>(taken from a prompt posted through the hqconfessions twitter: "can someone pls make a child fic about bokuto, tsukki, kuroo, oikawa, kageyama & hinata w/ their dads saying "i ate your halloween candies"")</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say It Ain't So

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh! This is my first work in the Haikyuu!! fandom!! Well, friends, as stated in the summary, this fic was written because of [this](https://twitter.com/hqconfessions/status/576976509509890050) prompt posted through the hqconfessions twitter (which, if you don't follow, I _highly_ recommend). The title from this fic is from "[All the Small Things](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ht5RZpzPqw)" by blink-182, which has nothing to do with this fic other than, yanno, the title. I wanna dedicate this fic to my friend, [Joss](http://www.levpx.tumblr.com), who made me watch Haikyuu!! in the first place. Thank you, Joss, for both simultaneously ruining and making my entire life by making me watch these nerds.
> 
> This fic was written hastily in the wee hours of the morning (it's currently 3:31 AM), so it is unbeta'd and edited as best as I can edit it at 3:30 AM. Please tell me any mistakes I may have made!!
> 
> S/N: I refer to all of them by their first names except Kuroo. While I love Kuroo, I feel like I'm not on _that_ level with him, you know? Also, Kuroo's scene may not necessarily fit him, as I found it hard for me to write him and even come up with an idea for his scene. All of these scenes are based off of the actual videos from Jimmy Kimmel ([1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YQpbzQ6gzs), [2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOlpdd7y8MI), [3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RK-oQfFToVg), and [4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NDkVx9AzSY)).
> 
> Also, I couldn't help but adding IwaOi undertones for Oikawa's scene. (What can I say? They own me.)

Six year old Bokuto Koutarou wakes up on Saturday, November 1st overly ecstatic. He hops out of bed with a huge smile on his face, his hair sticking up in every which direction from sleep.

He runs straight into the kitchen, ready to eat some of the Halloween candy he had collected the night before for breakfast. His mom hid his orange pumpkin basket on one of the way high up shelves, but he doesn’t let his small stature stop him.

He drags one of the kitchen chairs up to the counter and climbs it so as to be able to reach the cupboard. When he finally makes it he swings the door open and grabs his candy carrier only to take note that it seems a lot… lighter than it did the night before.

Koutarou hops off the kitchen counter and sits on the floor, looking into the carrier. He frowns when he finds that it is empty. Where did all his candy go? He knows that he didn’t eat all that many pieces before his mother told him that it was time for bed the night before.

He runs up the stairs to his parent’s room and jumps on the bed.

“Mom! Dad!” Koutarou yells loudly. He continues to yell this while simultaneously shaking them until they both begin to stir from slumber.

“What is it, Koutarou?” his mother asks around a yawn.

“Mama,” he begins, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and lip jutted out in a pout. “Where did all my Halloween candy go?”

His mother and father turn to share a look together before turning back to him. His mother lets out a deep sigh before placing a hand on his tiny shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, Koutarou takes note that his father has his cell phone pointed at the two of them.

“I’m really sorry, Kou,” she replies. “But your father and I stayed up late last night and got hungry, so we ate all of your Halloween candy.”

Koutarou’s eyes widened and his mother dropped in shock.

“You- You ate my candy?” he asks in disbelief.

His mother nods solemnly. “Yes, honey, we ate it.”

“ _All_ of it?”

“All of it.”

Koutarou tries to find it in himself to be mad at his parents, but is unable to. He’s sure that if anyone—besides him, that is—deserved that candy, it was his mother and father. He lets out a deep sigh and brings his shoulders up to his ears, lowering his head to look down at his hands.

“That’s okay,” he murmurs.

“Are you sure you’re not mad at us for eating all of your candy?” his mother asks.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” he assures her. “Next time, though, just ask me and we can share my candy!”

His mother smiles fondly and reaches out to further ruffle his hair. “Thank you, Kou, that’s very sweet of you.”

He’s no longer pouting now, a smile now taking its place. “You’re welcome, mama! I just want you two to be happy.”

His father puts the phone down and smiles at his son. “Hey, guess what?”

“What?” Koutarou replies instantly.

“We didn’t really eat your candy,” he confesses.

Koutarou lets out a gasp. “Really?!”

His father nods his head and reaches into his bedside table to produce a plastic grocery bag so filled with candy that tears are starting to form throughout the plastic.

Koutarou cries out in joy and tackles his father in order to take his candy back. Everything is still there from the night before, not one piece missing. He begins to rip open candy wrappers and stuff them into his mouth, going back to the plans of having his breakfast of champions.

He notices his mother and father watching him fondly, not even attempting to scold him or reprimand him for eating chocolate and lollipops at nine in the morning.

“Mama? Papa?” Koutarou asks around a mouth full of M&M’s.

“Yes, sweetheart?” his mother replies.

“Do you guys want some of my candy?”

***

“Akiteru! Kei! Get in here, there’s something I have to tell you!” Father Tsukishima shouts from the kitchen.

Akiteru runs into the kitchen, eager to see what it is his mother had called them in for. Kei does the exact same thing, his shorter legs having a harder time keeping up with his older brother.

They sit down at the kitchen table, where their mother sits with a somber expression.

“Dad?” Akiteru asks, fidgeting in his seat as his leg bounces up and down nervously. “What is it?”

Behind their father stands their mother, cell phone in hand and pointed at them.

“I have to tell you two something,” their father replies. He opens and closes his mouth several times, attempting to form the words.

“Just tell us already, Dad!” Akiteru shouts. “You’re scaring me!” Akiteru gesticulates wildly as he scolds his father for putting the two boys in suspense.

Kei takes note of Akiteru’s hand movements and copies them as best he can. He notices the furrow in Akiteru’s eyebrows, and attempts to copy the facial expression.

“Your mother and I ate all of your candy,” their father finally spits out.

Kei doesn’t see Akiteru’s expression but he hears him gasp loudly, causing Kei to do the same.

“I can’t believe you two!” Akiteru shouts. When Kei looks over at him, he has an angry look on his face and is standing akimbo.

“Yeah!” Kei shouts, hopping out of his chair and standing akimbo as well.

“You two should be ashamed of yourselves!” Akiteru says, punctuating the statement with a slam to the table with his fist.

“Ashamed!” Kei echoes, slamming his fist to the table as well but wincing when he does.

“The Skittles were the first to go,” their father admits. “They were _really_ yummy, too.”

Akiteru lets out a loud cry, Skittles being his favorite candy (and therefore, Kei’s as well), and stomps his feet in the ground in order to express his anger and frustration.

This is one gesture that Kei does not imitate, however. His eyes are wide and his mouth his gaping open. While he may be disappointed in his parents for eating their candy, he’s impressed that they were smart enough to eat all the Skittles before he and his brother got into them.

“You ate _all_ the Skittles?” Kei whispers, astounded.

His mother and father simply nod their head in confirmation.

“Oh, wow,” he says. “Good job!”

“Kei!” Akiteru cries. “Don’t let them think they can get away with this!” His face is red from anger and his eyes are shiny with unshed tears. Kei is not as effected by this as his big brother is, and he’s a little disappointed that this is the one thing he _can’t_ copy his brother doing.

Akiteru crosses his arms over his chest and lets out a “hmph” before turning his nose up at his parents. _This_ is something Kei can mimic.

“Kids,” their father says and though Akiteru is extremely mad at him, he turns his attention back to his father. “We didn’t really eat your candy,” he confesses, and pulls out their candy bag from underneath the table. “Kei can have first pick at candy since he didn’t get mad at us.”

Kei’s eyes light up and he runs towards the bag of candy, digging through them to pick out all of the Skittles packages.

He sees Akiteru’s dejected expression out of the corner of his eyes and looks at his tiny hands, struggling to hold all of the bags of Skittles.

When he’s done getting first pick at the candy, he walks over to Akiteru and hands him half of the Skittles. Akiteru’s face lights up with joy and he wraps his arms around Kei, picking him up and spinning him around.

Kei’s smile as Akiteru lets him down takes up his entire face. He loves his big brother.

The two Tsukishima boys spend the rest of the afternoon playing “close your eyes and guess what flavor Skittle I just gave you.”

***

Kuroo Tetsurou walked into his living room in search of his Halloween candy he had spent four hours walking around the neighborhood and gathering the night before. He remembers keeping it in his room, he even remembers as much as _sleeping_ holding the bag, but when he wakes up the bag is nowhere to be found.

“Hey, Dad,” he yells from his room. When his father doesn’t reply he lets out an annoyed huff and makes his way to the living room.

“ _Dad!_ ” he yells again. “Have you seen my…”

He stops upon entering the living room.

Laying on the couch is his father, surrounded by empty candy wrappers with several pieces sticking out from his mouth and littering his chest and stomach. His hand is deep into a bag nestled against his side. _Kuroo’s_ bag. The one he has been frantically searching for since he woke up.

His jaw drops open. That’s _his_ candy scattered all around the living room floor. He worked hard to get that candy and now the empty wrappers litter the floor. He crosses his arms over his check and narrows his eyes, giving his father a death glare all too well for a six year old.

He feels his mother come and stand behind him, but he pays her no mind.

“That’s _my_ candy,” Kuroo tells his father through gritted teeth.

His father grins and slowly, purposefully, takes his hand out of the basket and unwraps a new candy before popping it into his mouth. His father lets out a loud and exaggerated noise of satisfaction before turning back to Kuroo. “I’m sorry, Tetsurou,” he apologizes, patting his stomach. “What did you say? I was too busy focusing on how _yummy_ that candy was.”

Kuroo begins tapping his foot impatiently, tired of his father’s antics. “I _said_ that that’s _my candy!_ ” Kuroo yells this time. “Why are you eating my candy?!”

His father laughs. “Don’t worry, son, there’s plenty more where this came from,” he reassures him, digging his hand back into the candy bag before his eyes widen comically. “Uh, oh,” his father whispers under his breath.

“What?!” Kuroo cries out hysterically. “What is it?!” He makes his way over to his father and grips his face in his hands.

“There’s no more candy,” he replies simply. “I ate it all.”

Kuroo drops his hands and pulls back from his father. “What the heck,” he turns and whispers to himself.

He looks around the floor at all the empty wrappers. He looks to his father on the couch, surrounded by them, his face covered in chocolate.

That should be _Kuroo_ in a candy coma. He should be the one bathed in candy wrappers.

He turns back to his father and points an accusatory finger at his gut. “ _That’s why you’re so fat!”_ Kuroo screams. “ _Do you know how long I had to walk around to get that candy?! Do you know how many houses I had to go to?! No, Dad, you don’t! You wouldn’t walk around the neighborhood with me because you’re too_ fat _!_ ”

Kuroo finally stops to take a breath. He’s no longer able to look at his father and turns around on his heels, beginning to angrily stomp his way to his room.

“Tetsurou!” his mother calls after him, following him in his haste. She stops him with a hand to his shoulder, and when he turns around he finds her shoving her phone camera into his face. “Your father did not eat all your candy, honey. Someone told us to tell you that we ate all your candy.”

It is only _now_ that Kuroo feels tears well in his eyes. He snatches the candy bag his mother holds out to him and sniffles loudly.

Kuroo digs through the bag and pulls out a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, stuffing it into his mouth.

“What kind of sick monster would ask you to do something like that?” he cries around a mouth full of peanut butter.

***

“Tooru, honey!” his mother calls from the back porch. “Come inside, sweetheart, I need to speak to you!”

Oikawa Tooru looks up from the hole that he and his best friend, Iwaizumi Hajime, were digging in his backyard in order to find some worms.

“Come on, Iwa-chan!” Tooru yells over his shoulder as he runs into the house.

Tooru makes his way into the living room where his mother is seated, Hajime in tow.

“Tooru, take a seat,” his mother says, holding her phone out in front of her.

He listens to his mother and sits down across from her, Hajime sitting to his right.

“I don’t know how to tell you this, sweetie, but…” she begins. “I just thought you should know that while you were outside with Iwaizumi-kun, I ate all of your Halloween candy.”

Tooru’s lip begins to quiver and tears begin to fill his eyes. “You- You what?” he asks, voice wavering and throat tight with tears.

“I ate your Halloween candy, honey. All of it.”

He stands up and lets out a loud, screeching, blood-curdling scream. “You ate all of my candy?!” he yells.

“Yes, honey,” his mother answers.

“ _I hate you, Mom!_ ” Tooru shouts, stomping his feet on the ground. He grabs a pillow resting next to Hajime and throws it across the room. “ _I hate you! I hate you! I! Hate! You!_ ”

Tooru throws himself to the ground in a fit and begins kicking his feet rapidly, pounding his fists against the carpeted floor. He lets out a sob, hyperventilating as snot begins to run his face. He begins to twist back and forth, covering his face with his hands and screaming into them.

“Tooru, honey,” his mother begins, kneeling down next to him on the ground and reaching out in an attempt to calm him down.

“ _Don’t touch me, Mom!”_ Tooru screeches. “ _Leave me alone to die! I hate you!”_

“Sweetheart, we can always buy more candy,” his mother tries to reason with him.

“ _No, we can’t! I got that candy all by myself and I was going to save it until Valentine’s Day so I could give chocolate to Iwa-chan!”_ he cries out, taking stuttering breaths between every other word.

He continues to kick his feet and in his fit, chokes from crying so much.

His mother sighs and leaves him on the floor. Tooru cries that much harder at the knowledge that his mother truly _left him there to die._ He wipes the tears and snot dripping down his chin onto his cool alien t-shirt Hajime bought him for his birthday and continues to wail.

His mother returns and he hears a thud sound next to his ear.

“I didn’t really eat your candy, Tooru,” his mother says.

Tooru uncovers his face and looks at his mother, his bag of candy resting at her feet. He sits back up and takes the bag, sifting through it to see if anything was missing. Nothing is. Everything is exactly where it should be.

“I-I’m sorry,” Tooru apologizes, gasping between words as he’s still winded from crying so much.

Hajime sits down next to him on the floor and shoves his hand in the bag, pulling out a chocolate and stuffing it into his mouth. He waits until Tooru’s breathing is back to normal before he asks “You were going to save chocolates from _October_ to give to me in _February_?”

“It’s the thought that counts. Isn’t it, Iwa-chan?” he retorts.

Hajime rolls his eyes and hands a piece of candy to Tooru.

“You’re an idiot, Oikawa,” Hajime replies with a fond smile on his face.

***

Kageyama Tobio is sitting in front of the TV, way too close for his mother’s comfort, watching a volleyball match.

Halfway through the match, his stomach grumbles. He frowns down at his stomach. It can growl at him all he wants, he’ll be _damned_ if he misses _any_ of this match because he’s hungry.

“Ma!” Tobio shouts from his place in the living room. “Ma can you bring me my Halloween candy?! I’m hungry and I don’t wanna miss the match!”

His mother comes into the living room from the kitchen. When he hears her footsteps he simply holds his hand out behind him for the candy, unwilling to take his eyes off of the screen for even a second.

“Actually, honey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that,” his mother tells him.

He scowls and turns around. “What are you talking about, Ma?” he snaps before turning his head right back towards the TV. He swears that he saw his mother holding her phone out in front of her.

“I ate all of your Halloween candy.”

Tobio’s eyes widen. He very gravely lowers the volume on the TV, but still not taking his eyes off of the screen, not sure he heard her correctly the first time.

“I’m sorry, Ma. What did you just say?”

“Tobio,” she scolds. “I _said_ that I ate all of your Halloween candy.”

Tobio turns around now, his eyes narrowed and scowl apparent on his face. “You did _what_?”

“I’m not going to repeat myself anymore, Tobio. I know you heard me.”

Tobio stands up, the match now abandoned. “Why would you…” Tobio begins, picking up the TV remote. “Do that!” he screams, slamming the remote against the ground to emphasize his anger.

“I was _really_ hungry,” she replies. “I’m sorry, Tobio.”

“Sorry doesn’t give me my candy back, Ma!” Tobio screams.

He picks up a magazine off of the coffee table and throws it in the direction he sent the remote flying. When he makes his way out of the living room and into the kitchen to check and see if his mom is lying, he finds his bag empty.

Angry tears stream down his face as he takes a kitchen chair and topples it over onto its side.

“Why would you do that to me?!” he cries out. He throws everything he can get his hands on; cups, water bottles, silverware, plates.

“ _Enough, Tobio!”_ his mother shouts. “I didn’t really eat your candy!”

Tobio stops, his arm up above his head as he freezes when he was about to throw a roll of paper towels onto the floor.

“You-You didn’t?” he sniffles, lightly dropping the paper towels onto the floor.

“No, I didn’t.” She walks to the pantry and pulls out the plastic bag containing all of his candy. She holds it out in front of her and when Tobio reaches out to grab it, she pulls it away. “Are you crazy?” she asks him.

“No. I’m hungry and I want to watch the volleyball game.”

“After that stunt you just pulled you thinking you’re getting any candy?” his mother asks, raising her eyebrow in questioning.

He hangs his head and drags his feet on his way out of the kitchen.

“Where do you think you’re going?” his mother calls after him.

He turns back around a sniffles as one single tear rolls down his cheek. “To watch the volleyball game.”

His mother laughs and hands him a broom. “Nice try,” she says in between fits of laughter. “Clean up the kitchen and maybe, _maybe_ , I’ll give you your candy back.”

(She does.)

***

Four year old Hinata Shouyou sits down at his kitchen table to eat a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch.

He lets out an ecstatic “ouuuahhh!!” when his mother sets the plate down in front of him, his smile going from ear to ear. He holds the sandwich out in front of him and bites into it, licking his lips when he’s done chewing.

“Hey, Momma?” Shouyou asks, spitting out crumbs of food as he talks with his mouth full. “When I’m done with my sandwich d’you think I could have some Halloween candy?”

His father, who is sitting at the table across from him, shares a look with his mother before setting down his own sandwich and turning to Shouyou. “No, Shouyou, you can’t have any candy,” he answers instead of Shouyou’s mother.

His lower lip juts out in a pout, his sandwich long forgotten. He turns to his mother, who is aiming a camera in his face. What had he done in the last twenty-four hours to not deserve any candy? “W-Why not?”

“Because, son, your mother and I ate all of it,” he replies simply, turning his attention back to his own sandwich.

His mother points the camera directly at him and, for a few minutes, he does nothing. He simply sits there, his lip quivering and all the joy wiped off his face. The sunshine that had been radiating off of him only moments before now replaced by dark storm clouds looming the four year olds head.

Then, he begins to sob. It’s a stuttering sort of sob, and a verbal one at that. The noises Shouyou makes as he cries are ugly, but he looks adorable as his tiny nose and cheeks begin to turn red.

“I’m so sorry, Shouyou,” his mother coos.

“I-It’s okay,” he manages to stutter out through his tears.

His mother reaches out to ruffle his orange hair. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. It’s okay,” he cries as tears run down his face and he is very visibly _not_ okay.

“Do you want to go back to eating your sandwich now, sweetheart?” his mother asks.

He nods his head yes, still taking in deep breaths as he cries. His eyes are sad, and it takes him several long minutes until he’s finally calmed himself down enough to breathe properly.

Shouyou continues to eat his sandwich, tears still running down his face though the sobs are no longer wracking his body. When Shouyou finishes the sandwich and hands it to his mother without a word, she plops a giant store bag down in front of him.

“My-My candy!” Shouyou shouts excitedly, all the light coming back to his face.

“We wouldn’t really eat your candy, Shouyou,” his mother says in reply and winks at him.

The sun shines once again as Hinata Shouyou stuffs a Kit-Kat bar into his mouth and hums happily.

**Author's Note:**

> PS: I have a [tumblr](http://www.tooruoikwa.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
